Being a Single, Indian Female, at 40

I never thought I would be single at 40. It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

When I was 24, I had a 32 yr old friend who was getting married. Looking up from the age of 24, 32 seemed incredibly late to be married. How scary, I thought. A common friend comforted me “Don’t worry Nupur. Her case is unique. It won’t happen to you”.

But it did.

When I moved to California, I was 28. At home, all hoped — “Maybe you will find someone at Google HQ!”. At the age of 28 — all of us, me, my friends were looking hard for a match — that’s all we did all the time, especially the boys. For them, the culmination of their hard work happened during their annual December visit to India.

It always looked easier for men — just go to India and find a girl, yes? A guy from my trekking group did — he and the girl decided to get married within 2 days of meeting. We were at an i-Hop when I first met her. It was soon apparent, that she was bullying him over the table, and he, looking small as a mouse, agreed to her demands. She even insulted him in front of all “Ya, ya before we were married I know how you used to live. Didn’t even buy a pressure cooker”. I was shocked. See, this is what happens when you marry someone in two days — you get bullied. Poor chap. The judgement, was a solace to myself.

I don’t think I was ready to be married at 28. At 28, I used to talk to random guys I met on matrimonial sites, like that one guy who worked in IT and dreamt aimlessly to pursue a…